Thursday, December 27, 2012

A Non-Apology From A (Lately) Bad Blogger


I’ve been a bad blogger.  Terrible even. I’ve been uninteresting, sporadic, irregular, and to be honest – not feeling like blogging at all. I feel I have nothing interesting to blog about, nothing I feel like writing about publicly. Am I sorry though? No. Not at all. My life has changed since I’ve started this blog. I am constantly on the go, and I love it. Whether I’m at work, or seeing family, or going out with friends to restaurants bars and clubs alike, or seeing someone over coffee, or running errands, my life is so, SO, full. Full of things to do, full of memories being made, full of friends and family, full of laughter, full of emotions good and bad, full of love. So full in fact, that I’ve written it enough times that the word is starting to look funny and wrong.

I love blogging, I love the idea of it, I love the people I've 'met' because of it. But I really don’t feel like sharing the details of every night out I have. It is not my idea of content I’d like to share – do you really want to know about what new drinks I tried, the douchebag guys that try to hit on me and whom I laugh at with my friends after, how my guy friends lifted me up onto the bar at last night’s club and I felt awkward up there in my jeans and flats because I can’t dance like a stripper like the other girls who were up there in their high heels and mini skirts? Sure it’s a great story to share amongst my friends and I but it’s not my idea of blogging. I’m not a crazy partier by any means, so the stories aren’t even that wild or incriminating – that’s not the point. I just feel it would get so redundant to write about every dinner or dance session I have.  I LOVE dancing. I LOVE going out and trying new food, I LOVE wandering around aimlessly with friends at 2 in the morning. This is the time in my life to do this, and I’m absolutely loving it.

Which brings me to another point – as much as I am in love with my life currently, I’ve got a yearning for more – I don’t know what ‘more’ is right now. I don’t want a relationship, not realistically anyway. I have the best friends I could ask for, and I have an amazing family. What more could I honestly ask for? Something in me wants adventure. Something wants to find a deeper meaning in everything.  Something wants to FEEL. EVERYTHING. Which leads me to Travelling, Art, and Attitude.

Travelling:
I want to travel and see as much as my eyes can take in. I want to soak in the experiences other places have to offer me. I want to expand my view of the world from this relatively little bubble I live in right now. Screw spending money on clothes – something that my previously fashion-blogging self might have never said a few months ago. I want to save my money for experiences – like travelling! I am headed to Costa Rica on Monday with my family, then New York with my best friend in February, then hopefully somewhere for an exchange program with school next year. I am so excited.

Art:
I want to go to art shows. I want to soak in the experiences that these other artists are expressing through their work. I want to peek into the minds of people from the past and people of the present by absorbing their art into my soul. I want to write more poetry, read more poetry. I want to read books again. I want to understand, even if only in my own way, what so many artists have put out there exactly for that purpose. I want to make art, express MYSELF through it. I want to be married to art making and to fall head over heels for it. I just want to add something beautiful to the world.

Attitude:
I want to say yes to everything I want to say yes to. Meaning, for example – I will not smoke, or do drugs just because someone asks me and I’ve decided to say ‘yes’ to things. I don’t WANT to smoke. Never have and never will (It’s a thing.) So I won’t. But maybe I’ll say yes to the cute boy who wants to dance with me. Maybe I’ll say yes to try out a bar that isn’t necessarily my type of place. Maybe I’ll say yes to going to coffee with someone I’ve never hung out with before. Who knows what these things could bring? There’s so much potential in the world, and I think it’s up to us to let it all in. I want to fall in love with life and all it has to offer.



So, all of this to say that this blog is going to change, as I have changed. Maybe I’ll still do fashion posts but maybe I won’t. I’m not very interested in it right now. I want to fill this blog with my art, with what I’ve read, with what art inspires me, with thoughts and snippets of my writing. I am an artist, so why have I not filled this space with it? I am a critical thinker who over analyzes and ponders, so why have I not brought much of that into this blog?

I hope you guys will stick around for this new-ish frame of blogging mind. If not – that’s cool too, I’m genuinely glad you found something interesting in my posts beforehand. Thank you for bringing me in one way or another to this point in my bloggy-journey!
xo

5 comments:

  1. dont blame you for living your life, but we do miss your posts!
    love your blog!

    www.adashofrobs.blogspot.com

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  2. Yes, yes, yes...I like this whole post!!

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  3. Great blog entry.
    Keep enjoying your life. Time passes by so fast... don't end up like me, already 22 and always thinking back to when I was 17! Ahhhh...
    Having fun with friends beats most things!

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  4. Oh man I would LOVE to see the yummy food you're eating and pictures of the wonderful people you hang out with! The little peaks into a blogger's everyday life is what I love reading about most, actually! And I love your attitude about saying yes to new things. Such a wonderful mindset to have!

    I've really been struggling with what kind of content I want to have on my little blog space too. Of course design rules my life so that's there to stay, but I've lacked in posting consistently and I know a little bit of routine and structure to what I post about will help both me and my readers. My life has been way too crazy and unstable to make time for DIYs but I'm finally reaching a place where I can get back into that. It's all a balance. I think its a good thing that you're wanting more and to keep growing and evolving! That's a beautiful way to live and I personally hope I never stay comfortable and too satisfied with my life. That's when you start getting boring : )

    Good luck with figuring it all out and I look forward to seeing what you'll bring to your blog in the future. And happy freaking travels! So jealous!! Feel free to email me (mybilliedesigns@gmail.com). We could probably have looooong conversations about all of this!

    heart, Melanie from My Billie

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  5. Yes, I want to hear about the douches that hit on you! lol. When I first went to a club/bar, I wore jeans and converse and all the other girls were in heels and skirts. I can't even walk in heels. AT ALL. Not even a bit. I'm a flats girl all the way. And jeans are better because you don't have to shave your legs.
    Blogging gets hard to do sometimes but yeah, life is meant to be lived. I try not to apologize about taking breaks bc when I need one, I take one. If I don't feel like blogging, I dont. I dont blog about every outfit I wore or meal I ate, I blog about useless crap I find interesting. People change so therefore blogs change too. I want to try to blog more honestly this year and be more "me". I cant wait to see you your blog evolves :)

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